i have another year to celebrate in 10 days time,so i find myself deliberating.. ...the jury is out on most things ..
i feel stronger and calmer, and still full of piss and vinegar as my gran would say..
there are some things i no longer WILL do :
jello shots ..or shots with more than 1 kind of booze in
eat crap food
have bad sex
21 yr olds ( see # 3)
drive drunk or with a drunk
some things i no longer CAN do:
jello shots ( major vomitorium and days of hangover)
no passion sex ( just cant do it..its a waste of everyones time)
emigrate to australia ( unless i become a hairdresser apparently)
so the lists are still short which is a bonus and none of the above i miss...
there are still lots of things i want to do...hope to do, dream of doing, those lists grow..
a new older friend (80) ask me yesterday what motivates me.. she said she's tired and wondered what keeps people going .. i told her it's the dreams ..the hope and the love..the spontaneity.. friends old and new...the fact i still want more,dont feel any different ..
i know its a compliment when a younger girl tells me i'm an inspiration but it feels like a slap.. " hope i can be doing this when i'm your age" fuck off and do it now..
stop telling me how amazing i look or am "for my age " wonder if i did that .."wow you look great for 22' would they get it?
as tho we're supposed to stop at 40 and never show a leg again...because were taught other women are competition and they don't want us around with all our knowledge and experience..
get over it ..
happy in my skin ..i am ..would i trade it for a more supple version? hell yes, but not at the cost of giving anything up...
finally figuring out how to sit back and reap the rewards of being older and wiser, still being able to play out and dance all night when the inspiration takes me..knowing when enough is enough,no peer pressure ..bliss..
i have been picking b'days that i wanted to redo the last few years ..ones that first time around didn't make the grade..have been 8,12,16 and 18 again ..this year its 36...the inner child is healed, the women has come of age...now where's that bottle of tequila???
